Wesley is 6 weeks old- this Friday he will be 7 weeks old. So, markedly he has made some changes and progress along the way. For instance, he is sleeping about 5 hours at night now in between feedings, which allows me to get some much needed rest. His Zantac has now gotten into his system and seems to be helping a lot with the reflux issues and he isn't crying as much. We still give him gas drops about every feeding and before bed to ensure he doesn't wake from a sound nap/sleep cycle with piercing pain. Sometimes this happens anyway.
We are also taking this week to start Wesley's routine. The Baby Whisperer books as well as my beloved Baby Wise books have taught me more than I ever thought you'd need to know on establishing sleep/wake routines for newborns and babies. When I nannied for a family in college I learned and put to good use this technique, not even knowing what I was doing. The children's mother gave me exact orders on what to and to call her if something wasn't right or I had questions. I gotta tell ya, when I saw "naps at 1:00" I was dreading 1:00. Every kid I ever knew hated naps and screamed their way through them. So I was NOT a believer that kids could like naps. So, when 1:00 rolled around I said, "Ok, time for naps." Expecting that shrill screaming tantrum to begin. "Ok." Libby says and grabs her dolly Bria. "Ok" follows Lucy grabbing her doll Saphra.
WHAT? YOU'RE KIDDING ME!?! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SCREAM? WOW!
It wasn't until I was expecting Charlie that she let me in on her little secret. Or should I say, the Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. "This was my baby bible" she told me. And then she handed me "On Becoming Baby Wise" and she said, "I kept this with me wherever I went." I read them in no time flat and when I had Charlie I did exactly what the book said.
When it came to feedings, I used the PDF (Parent Directed Feeding) method and it worked like a well oiled machine- I knew exactly what his cries meant because I had a "sechedule". I knew if he should or shouldn't be hungry. I knew when he was tired. I knew when he had gas or just wanted to be cuddled. I felt very empowered because I knew him!
When it came to sleep, he slept in his crib. He went down awake and learned very soon to put himself to sleep. No rocking him to sleep every single time by me. No nursing him to sleep. No way. I rocked him while I fed him, burped him, changed him, and kissed him goodnight. Back to bed. During the day, he would cry for 10 minutes at nap time. Burning off energy and learning to put himself to bed. I'd go in and calm him down, hug and swing him. Then back to bed. It typically took 3 times of me going in his room and laying him back down for about a month before he got the idea that he should just give up and go to sleep. Now, he's almost 20 months old and I have had the pleasure of a kid who naps no problem every single day! 3 naps a day in the early months, then 2 naps and now 1 nap a day. *when they wake up crying, they're not done napping. Leave them in there for about 10 minutes, they'll fall back to sleep. When they wake up happy, they've had enough.
There are 4 phases in a baby's first year. They are:
Phase 1: Stabilization, birth through week 8
Phase 2: Extended Night, weeks 9 through 15
Phase 3: Extended Day, weeks 16 through 24
Phase 4: Extended Routine, weeks 24 through 52
Wesley seems to be having a bit more difficulty with the sleep routines because of frequent waking caused by trapped gas. We never used gas drops with Charlie and he actually never made me use one burp cloth either. He drooled and that was it. Wesley has me going to burp cloths night and day, I constantly am wearing spit up on my shoulders and hair and the poor guy just aches...it is getting better, but that's one main reason I have waited until now to start this routine. And the adding fact that because of this I have been very sleep deprived and am trying to catch back up on what I've lost. It's getting there! So I try and stay positive and keep the routine as consistent as I can. The great thing about routines and not schedules is they are flexible. And we all need flexibility and plus it teaches the kids how to go with the flow.
The one thing I love about the Baby Wise books is they tell you that the baby is a member of your family, not the center of it. They are welcomed in and belong with you. Everything does not revolve around the baby. This is so true- and once another one comes into the family they really begin to see that everyone in the family matters, not just them. Mommy and Daddy need each other first and then the kids...sounds a little backward from what we're all taught by every psychologist out there- but Mom and Dad were there before anyone else, and if you want to remain being there when the kids leave the home, you best keep it that way the whole time through. I love hearing my husband tell me he misses me, and when we get to spend time together it is usually long over due, but feels so wonderful- for a change I get to be cuddled!! Then I am rejuvenated to go it again with the boys! :)
I am just glad that I am almost through the Stabilization phase and almost on to the Extended Night phase- this means more sleep! :)
The routine is as this: (in case you were curious)
Early Morning: Feeding and diaper change. Waketime: rock/sing to baby, swing, bouncy seat etc. Nap.
Midmorning: Feeding and diaper change. Waketime: run errands, visit the neighbors, take a walk etc. Nap.
Afternoon: Feeding and diaper change. Waketime: bathe the baby, infant seat near window (or Christmas tree) play music etc. Nap.
Midafternoon: Feeding and diaper change. Waketime: sing songs, read a story, put baby down for tummy time on colorful blanket etc. Nap.
Late Afternoon: Feeding and diaper change. Waketime: family time. Nap.
Early Evening: Feeding and diaper change. Waketime: possible. Bed time.
Late Evening: Feeding and diaper change then back to bed.
Middle of the Night: Feeding and diaper change then back to bed.
During Phase 2 this middle of the night feeding will be dropped off and there will be 5-7 feedings during the day.
So that's it. The Baby Whisperer calls this the E.A.S.Y. system. Eat, Activity, Sleep and time for You. Once you get hooked on the EASY system, you never go back! I do love the Baby Wise book, I also have Birthing Wise, but I'd like to get Baby Wise II. There's a whole series from Toddler Wise, Potty Wise (which you better believe I will be getting) it deals with timing, education and motivation, Preschool Wise, Child Wise, PreTeen Wise and Teen Wise. Granted, I may not need every single one of these books, I think the library will do just fine for that. But Potty wise is one book I think I will be going to time and time again!
Well, I do have a thousand things to do before Charlie wakes up and none of which involves a nap today, so sad for me. But, this is the name of the game: The Endless Party!
"Life as we know it will never be the same"- as if change is a bad thing! Some look at it merely as survival. I like to think of it as leaving a legacy in my name. I'd be remiss if I never told a new mom that life for the first 6 weeks will be difficult, a small dose of newborn reality straight from the recovery room on the 9th floor- and she'll know it right away- but I don't see harping on the negative a very "blessed" thing to do. The fact that we can bare healthy children is a miracle.
It keeps me humble. It keeps me thankful. It keeps me happy.
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