What was so bad, you are asking. Well, this is the part where the disclaimer comes in...this is very gruesome what I am about to tell you. This is terrible, morbid and so very very heartbreaking. So turn away now if you don't want to hear it.
There were three young ladies talking about what they saw the doctor do at the abortion clinic they worked at in Houston, TX. They thought it was normal to kill a baby that was alive and completely out of the womb. They just thought that was his job.
But what he did was not part of his job. One girl recounted that he would stick a sharp instrument in the baby's soft spot, or stab it in the chest and you could still watch it's belly rise and fall as it was taking it's final breaths...I'm getting chills and sick to my stomach just rehearsing this to you...
But that isn't the worst part. That isn't the part that made me leave the room.
The second girl said she saw him taking a 20something week baby out by it's feet. He stuck the claws in and squeezed so hard she saw the baby's toes separate in pain...
I left the room, Jeff put the boys to bed while I paced the living room holding Henry. I put Henry in his cradle and came down stairs. Jeff held me and when he did I lost it. I sobbed like it was my own child.
I cried so hard. It was like I saw the evil that I had been sheltered from in such plain view and the sight of it was so horrifying and scary that my soul trembled and longed for the Comforter to cradle me. I couldn't see my face but I could tell by the way my body was so wrenching from this news that it was the saddest face my face has ever made. My throat hurt from not being able to cry enough tears, my heart was more than broken into millions of pieces, my stomach turned and contracted and tightened and I just wanted to throw up, nausea doesn't come close.
I wanted to tell Jeff, "Shake me by the shoulders, slap me, whatever you have to to make me believe this isn't MURDER! Do something to make me see it through different eyes so I don't have to feel this pain...So my heart can quit aching, so my bowels can stop feeling mutilated, so the pain of realizing we live in THIS kind of world can go away...make it stop, Jeff..."
Jeff just held me while my body forced violently to stop the agony it felt...
Why.
Why on earth would anyone do this?
How could someone be so evil?
Sin. Because sin is evil.
Truth is, Jesus even died for that abortion doctor. For all abortion doctors. For every murderer. For every Hitler. For every Manson. For every radical Muslim. For me. For you. For "good" people. For those murdered babies.
If they killed Jesus, who only healed and never ever hurt...then why wouldn't they kill an innocent baby?
I laid in bed for hours last night begging God to make it stop hurting. I heard a low airplane fly over and imagined it was a giant bomb that would kill us all so we could go to Heaven. That's how badly I wanted to escape this place. I then realized that we weren't going to Heaven that night and politely asked for sleep instead. My Comforter showed up and within minutes I was pain free.
When Jeff and I talked last night he made me understand this a little better. It by no means took the pain of this new realization I had away, but it did give me something else to think about.
I told him I wanted to put this on Facebook so everyone could read it and know about what's going on in these clinics for so called "health care for women" and he said, "They don't care Kelly!!! They don't want to hear it!!!! They want to hear about if the Red's won. They don't care!"
He was right. He then said that God has convicted me about this and I should pray for these babies...and I have so many times asked God, "God, I know I have this passion but what do I do about it? I've had this passion for YEARS- literally for years- and I don't know how to make a difference."
So until God reveals that to me all I can do is pray daily. But one more thing Jeff said that was so profound...
He said, "Kelly, think about it like this. If a woman could go into an abortion clinic at 20something weeks pregnant and willingly kill her baby, would you really want that baby to be born to her?!?! Think about that. Any woman that could go into an abortion clinic and kill their baby, are they a good person? Do good people kill their children? NO! They don't. I don't know of any good parent that would kill their child and I don't know of any bad person that would raise a righteous child. So isn't it better for this baby to be murdered and then fly into the arms of Jesus or to be born, be raised to be a drug addict, be beaten, molested, or raised by someone that could be a nice, normal citizen but not know Jesus and still die and go to Hell for eternity? It is horrible and it is sad, but even more so than these babies being cruelly murdered and going to Heaven is if they were to live and go to Hell..."
It still hurt...the pain wasn't immediately absorbed...but this way I could hear God's still small voice...He said, "This is how I work it for good Kelly...see, the doctor's believe they have won as Satan pats their backs and tells them they've done the right thing...but I hold the keys to Death and Hell...and the children will forever only know ME. There is always a way I work evil for good..."
To God be the glory... and let us not live in fear...
"Break my heart for what breaks yours." This has certainly happened to you. It happened to me. The sobbing, the inability to breathe, the constant thinking about it. You were right when you said you wanted to show it to the world and your husband was right when he said they don't care. That's true. That's because the world is complacent with sin. But as Christians we are not meant to be of this world and Ephesians 5:11 "Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them" confirms our need to do something.
ReplyDeleteThe ONLY solution to END abortion is the Gospel. Without the power of Christ we will never accomplish such a task, He will not bless something that does not honor Him.
God is very clear that sin is sin, regardless of circumstance. Our Father does not say thou shalt nor murder unless there is the possibility that the woman won't make a good mother, He does not say thou shalt not murder unless the child might be beaten by his/her drug addicted parents, or if there are fetal abnormalities. Every single abortion late term to plan b ends the life of an image bearer of Christ our Lord and Savior. This is just one reason why the Gospel is the only answer. It is not better for a baby to be murdered for any reason. No one knows what life will bring someone and if we know it's true that God can use all things for good then it is never ok for us to be complacent with abortion because out earthly way of thinking has comforted us. Thinking "It is better" is not of God, it is of this world. Proverbs 3:5-6 "Lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and He will make your paths straight."
What a blessing to have Him break your heart for what breaks His own. You can fight and end abortion. I think you will really like the following website and there are countless ways you can help.
www.abolishhumanabortion.com
Blessings always,
Sara
A//A
Watch the movie October Baby. That will answer Jeff's question as to if the baby should be born if the parent tried to abort it or not. This sickens me and I'm going to share your blog on my page. Those who are interested will read it. Kelly, this world is going to Hell in a hand basket and it's up to me (you) to share God's Word and love so they might be saved. Love you.
ReplyDelete